Rooftop battle.

A Crushing, bone shattering, pressing weight descends. With panicked glances, I begin searching for a way out. A sudden and chilly silence of dread fills my soul.  It's back. That nagging haunting feeling, one that slices to the core and refuses to be ignored. I recoil deep within, only desiring to flee instead of fight.
Inadequate. Freak of nature.
"No! Not again!", my mind shrieks, as a mad dash ensues to fight back against the impeding darkness.
Accident. Damaged.
"I am more than that", I attempt to reason as I grope for light amidst the darkness
Diseased. Undesirable.
"Its Not about me" I block, not willing to give into this yet.
Broken. Shattered.
The arrows have found their mark. The chink in my armor, small yet so vulnerable.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, But words can also hurt me.
"Breathe, Just breathe" I repeat, trying to focus my thoughts on anything but this. The cold air seeps into my lungs, my feet numb against the tin roof and slowly it seems the sense of foreboding looses its grip.
Dysfunctional. Unlovable.
"Help me Father" I pray, as I lose ground again.I start humming.
Jesus loves me, this I know. 
How do you know? Can you trust this stuff that has been spoon fed to you? 
for the bible tells me so
Children's Stories? Really?
"No, there is more than just these paradoxical stories. I have more Personal Experiences." I rebuttal as I travel down memory lane.
Oh ? Going to memory lane are you? well Lets see here... 
I bristle, preparing for what is about to come up.
Abandoned. 
"Discovered"
Shamed. 
"Forgiven"
Rejected.
"Chosen"
Lost. 
"Found." I retaliate, finding my strength multiplying as I prepare to make a stronger comeback.
"Its all about the focus"
Its hard to focus in the shadow of distress
"Ah, sometimes yes, but you see its the shadow itself that helps outline the issue here."
?
"A shadow is an indicator of a greater light. Like I said, All depends on ones focus"
Light strikes back at the darkness. A final struggle ensues but the victory has already been won by someone long before me.
Slowly breathing becomes easier. I begin to see the moon and stars, once again able enjoy the beauty of my surroundings.
Another battle fought, Another battle won, but not fought, nor won alone.
"Thank you" I sigh, as exhaustion takes over, and I settle into a more relaxed mood.

Another day looms, more battles more fighting, but somehow with each victory, and sequential exhaustion, I find myself growing just a little more on the inside. While my growth is slower than a stalagmite, it's also progress. I know it will be done when the Author of my story finishes His writing and finally comes back and takes me home. Then, then a new story gets to begin. For now I just have to wade through the battles, learn the lessons and trust Him more.

Possession.

"No" I asserted quietly, "I think John-henry has a point. While you two may be able to recognize each other's voices, the real risk is in someone else mistaking a command from you."
I had just been listening absentmindedly to John-henry and Ryan debate about if it was okay for Ryan and his girlfriend to call out commands without the use of names at the obstacle course. John-henry  ran with my support, doubled his argument and we "won" this  little disagreement between friends.
"I don't think we have ever been introduced," I said in the aftermath, "my name is..."
"You're Bobby's female!' he interrupted with a look of triumph.
*Ahem*    "Yes," I slightly colored then added,  "my name is Katie."
His face slightly colored in response. I laughed at his slight discomfort, attempting to put him at ease.
"We hear a lot about you in Connections class, so thats where I know you from" He explained  glancing Bobby's direction.
"No worries" I smiled, " It's true enough I suppose, just hadn't thought of it that way before."

We parted our separate ways  but the title still remains - Bobby's female, Lol. Of all the titles of the world this is one I am particularly happy to carry. While my knee jerk reaction was to state my independence, "My name is Katie." The general warmth of the title  has only grown on me and made me smile more than once in remembrance.  It has also caused me to ponder other such titles of possession.
I am an American Citizen, so in some ways I belong to America.
I am a Seventh-day Adventist, and to some that would certainly imply possession.
(though it should be noted that while possession to some, has a negative connotation, these are titles I am proud and privileged to carry and I cite them in the most positive light.)
But the title of possession that I treasure most of all (Yes even more than being Bobby's female)  is the fact that I am HIS Child. His Daughter, His dearly beloved and it is this title that makes my entire being smile. The God of the Universe loves and cares about me. He  talks with me each day, gives me His holy word full of promises and lessons, and my personal favorite, He takes time just to spend with me and grow our relationship. He is my heavenly Father and I know that while other titles of possession may come and go, His love for me is steadfast and will never ever fail and it is by this knowledge that I can sing.