Of scars, Scabs, and Pain...

Pain as a reason not an excuse.


In my life looking back i have noticed a puzzling trend -
 maybe you can relate- maybe not.
But what i see is so often where i use my pain and hurt as a child
as a reason to not help another who is hurting

It really is quite unnerving
to realize that while sometimes i choose,
to let that painful cuts ooze love and healing,
More often I use it as a scab of protection, a reason not to care.

"Life isn't fair"
I proudly proclaim as I focus my own aches
and try to ignore others legitimate pain
Sometimes sure, I might help but it's not pain free for me

It hurts to help, but the pain comes after your free.
After i lift you up to Him above
I watch you soar and fly in freedom
and yet to my past I am bound

Trapped in my warped world on the ground
I watch as others soar happy and free
But this is not how it has to be
In reality, its wrong and this thinking is con-strewed

Life is caught in the essence of how it is viewed
If i choose to see myself trapped on the ground
that is how it will be, but if rather i choose to see
myself take flight with each person I help lift

Then my work becomes a returning gift
I help others though there may be pain
Not because it is a sore duty or leads to my gain
Rather tis better to help, better to Heal

And to quit depending on how life feels
Just as a placebo fools the crowd
A single thought can change my cloud
and so I choose how my day goes

I  choose the thoughts that echo
through the caverns of my mind.
So I can help another person
And on the same turn, help me.

You made it so. Gave us the choice.
Choice of perspective
Because You Love Me,
You let me choose.

And so in Turn I ask
No i plea,
Help me choose to reach
Choose to help

Open my eyes,
Lead my heart.
Father! please,
Help me Never stop serving.

Burn down my walls
Rip off the scaring scabs
Freeing pent up love
and let the pain,

Bring You Glory. 

Advice

Be brave
Be strong
Never back down,
unless wrong.

If wrong
Be wise
Don't hide behind
screens of lies

Guard your
heart
It is tender,
and doesn't like darts

Remember
every word
had a price
and once heard,
Cannot be revoked.

Don't hurt.
Sounds simple,
but you will realize
it's easy to erase a dimple

Be kinder
than expected
for it is the unexpected,
that is truly respected.

Balance

The equilibrium of life
that is terribly off Que
It isn't fair and often filled with strife

Yet that's not how it began
Nor is it how anyone wants to be
so I'm spending time doing all I can

To find that balance
between standing out and fitting in
Between change and old habits

I'm struggling To find my place,
to where You want me in your plan,
safely nestled in Your grace.

You created this earth
and said it was good
yet now so different from birth

so please re-create me
help me surrender -You have promised
to do this and more for free

So Lord I'm on my knees
I cant find the balance
so i leave it to You, Please.