This is how I am/feel right now -Dunbar beat me to the perfect combination of words...

 We Wear the Mask

    WE wear the mask that grins and lies,
    It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—
    This debt we pay to human guile;
    With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
    And mouth with myriad subtleties.

    Why should the world be over-wise,
    In counting all our tears and sighs?
    Nay, let them only see us, while
            We wear the mask.

    We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
    To thee from tortured souls arise.
    We sing, but oh the clay is vile
    Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
    But let the world dream otherwise,
            We wear the mask!

Paul Laurence Dunbar

Please God ! vs Please God.

How do you chose to choose to  live your life?
in a roller coaster ride of ups and downs as far as relating to how much God "answers" any particular day?
or in a path that, while narrow,  leads to being focused on His joy?
Do you live to ask Please God ?
Or live to Please God?

Do we choose to have a Goal of Happiness ?
Or a Goal of Holiness?
If for happiness you search, you will avoid pain - which is unavoidable and you wont make you goal
If for holiness you search, you will avoid sin - Which while also unavoidable on your own- it is Not impossible with God.

God uses pain to shape us into a reflection of His perfectness.
But if we spend our lives trying to avoid that pain- then How can we every expect to be changed?
In Jeremiah God referenced us to clay, Clay has to go through a lot of pushing, pulling, and finally FIRE before it is ready to become a usable vessel.

Pain while Not great, is a tool that God uses.While I am not supporting the idea of - always be happy and bubbly other wise you are not a christian,  I do agree with the idea of being solidly grounded so whether i feel happy or sad I can stay stable in His love and His grace. Its about Choosing between : "Believing who He is" over "What I feel". 

Imagine a Ship, a big old wooden ship of old, like the ones you would imagine making the trans-Atlantic journey during the times of the American Revolution. Imagine with me, this Huge ship sailing through the sea. Wave after wave crashes on its sides, breaking, spraying, separating around the boat, creating a tail of a wake, following the ship on through its.  It is expertly guided by the master Captain, the One who Knows the seas, but also knows the final destination and the safe harbor there. Picture that ship continuing forward, through the waves of pain, doubt, charging through the storms, bracing against the wind, rain, and snow. Ever going forward. Now then Does this ship worry about what the horizon holds? Does it have any fear of the next wave ?

...Should we?

To.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

11:16 AM

To shift away

To see no way

To build a wall

Trying  to prevent a fall

To reject a chance

To decline a dance

To fake a smile

Trying to escape awhile

To be a friend

To simply lend

To be set aside

Trying to hide

To hide the pain

To hide the shame

To hide the tears

Trying to erase the years

To the years

To the fears

To learn to trust

Trying to stop the rust

To the rust

To the dust

To the junk that stalls

Trying to replace the calls

To the calls

To the walls

To the One 

Trying to direct me to the Son.

To the Son

To He who Won

To the Heart

Trying to be set apart

To  be apart 

To avoid the darts

To have a Shield

Trying to learn to yield 

To yield 

To be unsealed

To crack open my heart

Trying to become some Abstract Art

To be His Art

To let Him Mold my Heart

To relax in His care

Trying to let Him be my prayer.