Endings are Just Beginings.

Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.

Nelson Mandela

Well. Here I am.

Hundreds of papers written.
Thousands of quizzes taken

Millions of moments Captured
Seconds in which my soul, raptured.

Several hard times,
Many long lines.

Sparkles of smiles and laughter
Saturating many a chapter.

Miles of road explored,
felt with a deep heart cord.

College is over.

College is Done.

This race has all but been won.

I have lived.
I have loved.
I have lost.
I have found.

I have stumbled and crashed and burned.
I have also rose again and fought with all I had.

I have been kissed.
And kissed in return.

I have been lost deep in the woods literally and figuratively and yet found my way again.

I have cussed
and I have cried,
At times I even wanted to die.

In the end, I have survived.

I have processed and I have grown.
Expounding daily on what I had ever known.

Even though this college experience has come to an end,
I am excited for whatever lies around the bend.

For whether it be friend or foe
We can make it, this I know.

I will safely in Him confide
I will trust Him to be my guide



Its been good. I have experience a lot in my 4 years of undergrad. Technically yes I still have spanish to finish up this summer but for my soul's sake this is the end. Spanish is a mere Ps. to my college experience.
Its over, I AM DONE! 
Atlas I do not know exactly what that means for me....
For now its means me skipping across parking lots, sending smiley filled texts and peacefully enjoying barnes and nobles for the first time in forever (No homework to do and no guilt about not actively doing said homework!)  - Reading the amazing book "Oh the places you'll go"  and dreaming of what may or might or hopefully will be...

And So - Where will I go? What will I do? These things I am not quite sure of. I have some plans - some hopes and dreams... but time will be the tester of each of these.
To my past I whisper  - Thank you
To my present I affirm - Lets do this
To my future I challenge - Bring it on.


However...
For now though dear reader I must say Adieu! I cannot afford to keep this blog up under this name... It isn't professional etc etc. and so housecleaning must commence. Perhaps Ill change it back to my original alias and write more- Or maybe I will make a whole new and more professional blog...  I am not quite sure. But For now this is Goodbye. So long - Farewell! To all of you who have read and encouraged me through the years it meant and still means more than you will ever know :) Thank you for enjoying this journey with me it has has been fantastic. :)

Wicked.

Earlier this week I was privileged enough to see the musical Wicked. 

While I enjoyed the lights, dances, singing and other theatrical effects there was one particular effect that stood out boldly. 

Silence. 

At several times throughout the play the entire stage would be silent and still. No notes. No witty wordage. Just Silence. 

This silence was scattered tastefully throughout the play to make varying levels of impact. And what an impact the quiet made. You could hear a pin drop at these short and sharp moments. Moments of decision. Moments of grieving. Moments of life. 

I am having a moment of life right now. For most of today I have made more effort to be silent than to say much of anything to anyone. I was blessed enough to have one solid companion for most of the day, something I am exceedingly grateful for, but otherwise I kept my phone and general social life pretty much under wraps and silent. I wrote one email (to a teacher to say I wasn't coming to class) posted one status, and otherwise consciously let go of the world and all of its noise. I have 3 unanswered texts and 1 phone call that I should respond to. But I really don't have much of a desire to...  maybe tomorrow. 

I did try talking to God a bit. A lot of it wasn't really talking…honestly it was a bit more yelling. Grieving. Blaming. But See He knows the power of Quiet. He remained silent. Now then, His silence was not in a judging or distant sort of way-to the contrary the quiet felt very present and close and comforting way. Despite my shoving and shouting, He gave no response excepting outstretched arms and open hands. I am still pretty hesitant to talk much with Him. Worried and or bothered by what He might say or do. I never have been one to volunteer for a reprimand, but I feel I am a bit deserving of one. Mmmm maybe sometime today I will finally submit –open up and let the silence end. 

See the thing about silence is that it must be -and always eventually is- broken. Silence for too long equates death. Nothing can remain in that silent state for long, or the purpose and meaning behind it is lost. The show cant and neither can I. 

Life isn't always good or right

But that’s exactly what is Life.

For Life –the good and not,

Whatever may be my lot,

I am thankful. 

I believe

So in class we had an assignment - write out ten things you believe - any topic - GO!
My list went something like this:

I believe,
In sunshine after pain,and  rainbows during rain.

I believe,
Kids need to be raised with less "stuff" and more time.

I believe,
there is a balance of fun and work - find it.

I believe,
In love.

I believe,
That I Am watched and Cared for by My heavenly Father - no matter how much I fall and stumble.

I believe,
If people took time to listen and read more - and talk and judge less - the world would be better.

I believe,
In the power of laughter.

I believe,
In compassion - for everyone.

I believe
In the possibility that this world can be a better place, just as each individual can be. It just takes time and determination.

I believe,
In happy endings - that are really just happy beginnings in disguise.