Seasons Flower.

Twirling, Spinning, constant spiral.
Turning Changing every mile.

Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall.
Constantly echoing the busy call.

Snow, Sun, Heat, and Rain.
Life's Goings in in an unbroken Chain.

Day after Day, Year after Year,
Month after Month, Reflecting in the mirror.

Changes coming, going, Gone.
Ever Cycle, Dusk till Dawn.

And Yet Above all this unrest.
IS a God who Knows whats best.

And through each day and Spinning Hour,
He slowly grows you, little Flower...

Rose.

Jesus Loves me this i know
though rivers of tears may flow

To know is good,
but to reach the place where I could:

simply  trust -
for this really is a must

fully believe-
a necessity before i leave

Truly act-
on His love, as a fact.

To act- to Live.
Not just survive, but rather to be active.

To rest perfect in His Grace
instead of running at some fast pace.

Running racing fleeting fast
chasing after things that pass.

No that's not the life i have to live
not the price i need to give.

For He gave All
when He came to catch our fall.

This life i live
is one that only He can give

This Journey though not complete
Will not end in Defeat.

He will keep me Safe and Close,
through His work, i will be a tender rose.

The labyrinth of my life.

I grew up with a Dr. Seuss perspective on life. "Oh the places you will go!" "Oh the things you will Think" were the rallying cries of my dreams. College - not a thing to be feared but rather a chance to study that which I loved.

However. Life has a funny way of being very different from what we expect. I'm Sitting here in the student center trying to decide: Major, School, Life work, - Life in General. And all of a sudden a large part of my wild heart longs just to ditch, and run free. (Whatever that means?!) To commit to a decision on the rest of my life BLA I cant do that!

 Education major? Physiology? Sociology? Social work? "what makes your happy?" Grrrr. lets say "NOT making big decisions"- yes that makes me happy... !

 Some say follow your dreams but when your dreams are as abstract as mine - aka they pretty much only involve a sense of accomplishment in some area but its not defined in any way...- its hard to follow!

The days are spinning too fast! whirling twirling Autumn, Winter, Spring and Summer. Repeat.
Decide what you are doing in a year, decide what to do in an hour. More questions than answers. More options than choices.

I watch others pass on through life, They know what they are good at, They know what their life work will be. They have a purpose, They have plans and dreams and some how They can keep it all together. And I cant, I Dont.

And so my life has kind of melted into a confusing warp of decisions and choices. While i want to run i Know that the only way to survive this is to keep going. I cant turn back now all I can do is keep looking to my Father and somehow find a way. For now - it is confusing. But One day- I have Hope- it will Not be.  <3

Sounds of Autumn

Squirrels scampering about in a little clump of trees. They are just about their business, getting ready for winter. Doing simple chores that God has shown them to do for the purpose of survival. They don't even realize the noise  or impact they are making in their little sphere of impact. The snapping of twigs the crunching of leaves, each movement sending out little vibrations that proclaim their presence. They don't stop to listen or to care. The fuzzy mammals just keep at their goal of simple survival. Simply living. 

It is in their particular habitat that they thrive. It is in that setting in the woods where their survival is possible and the most noisy. It is where God puts me that i have the most influence and it is in that place that i can make the most noise for Him. If I don't see the sound vibrations or when all I can feel simply a struggle to survive, I can yet rely on the fact that He is the ultimate composure of both my life song and the worlds symphony. He is the master of all the noise, the one who sets the habitat, the one who changes both the seasons and lives. He knows where I will make the most impact/noise, He knows what I need to survive and He will provide for me. 

 I may not (I Do NOT) understand all "static" that I hear and feel, yet I can trust that somehow, sometime, it will not be "static" but rather notes of the harmonic song of a life directed, purposed, by Him.